Speak Now
by MusicalCatharsis
Summary: At 27 you're supposed to have it all figured out. She didn't, and her family was begging him to stop the wedding before she made the biggest mistake of her life. Literati. AU. Nothing from AYITL happened.


Author's Note: This is an AU that I had been working on years ago before a Year In The Life. I wanted to dedicate it to my best friend who has since passed from this world. There's no pregnancy in this one, no returning Logan, no screwed up 5 minutes of screen time for Jess. On to the story.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything pertaining to Gilmore Girls. I wish, because if so Jess and Rory would be together. Forever.

* * *

 **Speak Now**

He sighed as he drove past the Welcome to Stars Hallow in Connecticut sign, quickly reaching out to turn down the dial on The Clash cd he was currently blaring. His fingers tapped lightly on the steering wheel, while his foot hit the break, trying to slow his eventual arrival at the diner in the town he had partially grown up in. He remembered the times they spent together, flirting and growing closer as friends and eventually in a relationship. He could see the sign in his rear view mirror, and the church came into view a few moments later.

There was a flurry of movement around the white building, and he could see lavender. Too much lavender. She hated lavender, last time he checked. But last time he checked had been about five years ago. Needless to say that there was a lot that could change in five years, a lot that clearly had changed in five years. Like his fourth and fifth books. Like her engagement and this sham of a wedding, he thought bitterly.

He parked the red Toyota Camry at the curb and killed the engine with a large huff. It was clear that he didn't want to be here, he had made it known to Luke for the last month and a half. But secretly, deep down in the smallest recesses of his heart, in a chamber labeled strictly for Rory, he wanted to be here. Wanted to be able to see her for a small moment before she let herself be married to this jackass named Travis Hale for the rest of her life.

And in the back of his mind he knew that she would be sitting at the counter of the local diner with a bowl of coffee in front of her when he walked through the door. He knew that her hair would be shoulder length and curled slightly. And he only knew this from the grainy pictures printed near her name in a by-line on the newspaper he had subscribed to when he learned of her new job at the New York Times. He had followed her through the years, greedily reading her articles, drinking her in like the coffee she loved. It had been five years since he had actually spoken to her...he wasn't sure his voice or brain still worked around her.

Roey, his Roey who was now calling herself Lorelai to appease this jerk, was getting married. It was a harsh truth that he was coming to terms with, one that he needed to fully understand before Saturday.

Later on that evening when he sat in a chair behind the counter at Luke's, much like he had several years earlier, it was instead with a laptop and not a paperback book with several dog eared pages. His fingers flew across the keyboard, inspiration striking in the oddest of places. His muse returning at the small smile, brush of shoulders, and the barely audible 'hi' she had uttered to him when he arrived. And before he could even catalog her face in his mind, she had exited the diner, walking away with her fiancé.

His fingers were telling the tale of a girl, one who had everything and everyone, but one who ultimately fell from grace. A beautiful blue eyed, dark haired girl, he called her Lacey, because Lori would have been too obvious. He gave her a dog, named her Hope. He poured his heart into the pages of his word processor and before he knew it darkness had clouded the small town he was in. Glancing at the clock at the bottom of the screen told him it was now one in the morning, one day closer to her wedding, one day closer to the seemingly end of his life. Jess stood and stretched out his back, hearing the satisfying pop of his joints in quick succession. It wasn't until he went to turn the lights off that he noticed the figure at the door, her shoulders hunched, and her wet hair matted to her forehead.

"What're you doing here?" He yelled across the diner to her. Refusing to unlock the door, refusing to let her in again. Clearly things still weren't fixed, if the gleaming diamond on her hand had anything to say about it. She gestured to the door handle, her face clearly stating that she wanted to be let in.

"No." He said, shrugging his shoulder and crossing his arms over his chest. She visibly shrunk down, running her fingers through her hair, and letting out a huff of breath that fogged the glass in front of her.

"Jess..." She whimpered. Her hand coming out to touch the cool glass in front of her. "Please."

He knew better. He knew that he had broken her many years before in the spring of her senior year, when he jumped on a bus and booked it out of her life faster that you could say California. But Rory Gilmore, the seemingly broken girl standing in front of him right now, destroyed every particle of his being. But in the same lifetime she built him up, made him believe that he was actually worth something. Actually worth the love he held for her in his heart.

It took him five years to build the wall around his heart, five years to perfect the hard exterior where she was concerned. It took five years for him not to wince when he heard her name spoken in casual conversation. It had taken him five years to lie to himself and those around him. For he had always known that he was completely and irrevocably in love with the girl crying on the other side of the door.

It took her three words, one smile, and a handful of tears to break down his wall. He walked the distance between the counter, his safe place, and the door slowly. Counting his steps, begging himself to just turn out the lights and walk behind the curtain. But he could feel the pull already. Rory Gilmore had a gravitational pull of destruction where Jess Mariano was concerned, and it always left one or both of them in shambles.

As soon as the door was unlocked and he turned the rickety knob she had barreled herself into the diner, making a beeline for the curtain that led to the apartment upstairs, where he stayed as an adolescent. He exhaled heavily, re locking the door once again, and turning out the lights for the night. His laptop lay abandoned on the counter, still plugged into its power source, the little black line still blinking...waiting.

He followed her up the stairs, albeit a lot slower than she had. He could hear her pacing near the table, five steps forward, five steps backward. Jess didn't mentally prepare himself for his old girlfriend to be wearing his faded Metallica t-shirt and just a pair of panties when he walked through the door.

"Rory..." He whispered, his hands automatically running through his hair. The trademark smirk gracing his lips, and the nervous breath coming out in sporadic intervals. She stopped her pacing and turned to look at him.

"I jumped into the lake." She said in explanation, looking down at her attire. It was a lake that was special to the both of them, the same lake that they would sit at when they needed a place to escape to. The same lake that his uncle pushed him into when he was just figuring out his feelings for the blue eyed beauty, the daughter of the woman his uncle loved above all else. He nodded and walked to the fridge, giving her a wide birth, and grabbed a beer. He popped open the top and took a long healthy swig before looking at her again.

"Not that I mind seeing you like this..." He started, looking at her body greedily. His gaze lingering on the pair of purple sheer panties that covered her lower region. "But what the hell are you doing here?" Jess pulled one of the kitchen chairs out and sat down heavily, watching her ass as she continued to pace back and forth.

"You and I have never made love." She said. Turning to look him in the eye. She clamped her hands around his bottle of beer and brought it to her lips.

"I'm very aware of that fact, Lorelai." She finished gulping his beer, slamming the empty bottle on the table before going to grab another one.

"Don't call me that." She hissed, before opening the bottle and placing it gently in front of him. Jess reached for the beer, his fingers wiping at the condensation on the glass.

"I thought that's what you were going by now" he replied calmly, shrugging his shoulders and taking a sip. "Figured I'd join in."

"You...please just call me Rory." She sighed, obviously exasperated. Her long legs walked her over to his bed, the one that Luke left assembled, just in case he ever came back, and sat down heavily. She sat with her legs open, giving him a glimpse of the area he wanted so badly to touch, to see, to taste.

"Make love to me Jess." She whispered, her eyes connecting with his. "No words. No books. No past. No future. Just present. Right here. Right now. In this bed, in this apartment, in this town, in this damn state. I want to finally feel you inside of me." She paused to take a deep breath. "I want to know what I feel I have been missing out on. I want to know what fucking you would be like, because I've thought about it with every guy I've been with. I want you, and damn it all if I haven't lied to myself for far too long. Fuck me, Jess. Have sex with me. Make love to me, whatever you want to call it...let's just do it."

He awoke some hours later, the sun was creeping over the gazebo, and a quick glance at the clock told him that if Rory didn't leave now the entire town would know of their romp in the sheets by eight. He let his fingers trail down her spine, ghosting over her curves, and allowed his mind to remember every detail. For he knew that this was the first and the last time he would ever get to see his Rory again. In just one day she would become Mrs. Hale and Jess would have lost her forever. He knew deep down that he wasn't strong enough to stay in her life, watch her get married, carry someone else's child.

So engrossed, was he, in thoughts of the future his love had with another man, that his other senses waned. He did not hear the creaking of the diner door, or the heavy booted footfalls of someone stomping to the apartment stairs. He had just reached for a cigarette when the door burst open and Luke stood there in all of his flannel glory.

"Oh geez" he yelled turning his back on the couple when Rory shot up in the bed, the sheet pooling in her lap, leaving her breasts exposed. She yelped and ran for the bathroom door, grabbing her clothes as she went.

"It's safe." Jess muttered, flicking open the metal cap on his zippo, and lighting his Marlboro. He took a long drag, loving the feel of the smoke filling his lungs, and the nicotine mixing with the sweet taste of Rory on his tongue.

"Jess..." His uncle began looking at the younger man across the room. Jess who had begun to pull his jeans over his slim hips, foregoing the boxers he couldn't be bothered to find.

"Luke..." The nephew offered.

"She's getting married tomorrow."

"Huh."

"How could you do this to her?" The older man spoke evenly, though his face was turning red.

"I came to him Luke. I had to know."

"Huh" Luke spoke, turning towards the small voice coming from behind the bathroom door.

"Satisfied?" Jess asked. His uncle ignored him completely, walking to the fridge for a beer. Though it was only four or so in the morning, the older man needed just a bit of liquid courage to get through this day.

"Did you at least use protection?" Luke asked, glaring with one hand on his hip, the other swinging the bottom of the bottle between the two of them.

"No" came the answer from the ex-lovers.

"Oh geez"

* * *

He had gone a full day without seeing the reigning Lorelai Gilmore, but he knew as soon as he heard the impatient huff from in front of him, that his time was up. He saved his draft, and looked up into the piercing blue eyes of one of his ex-girlfriend's mother, and she did not look happy.

"Coffee. Cup. Upstairs. Now." She said, before stalking behind the curtain. Jess sighed heavily, before grabbing the coffee pot and the largest cup the diner had before making his way upstairs. He could hear her pacing, much like her daughter did the night before.

"Lorelai." He said, placing the coffee on the table. He grabbed himself a beer and sat in the same chair from the previous night. She grabbed the cup and drank from it until it was gone, and then motioned for Jess to fill it again.

"Jess," she began, taking a seat opposite him, "Rory told me about last night."

He nodded, and shrugged his shoulder.

"I figured she would. You two were always like Selena and Taylor."

"A celebrity reference, I'm impressed." She said, smiling at him and taking a sip of her coffee.

"I learned a little something from your fangirling."

"Travis is good to her." Lorelai continued, the smile slipping off of her face.

"She wasn't happy for a long time after she broke things off with Logan in college. She refused to go to you, even though we all begged her to. And then she met Travis in a bookstore, he was reading your book, and they clicked." The older woman sighed, smiling at Jess sadly before continuing. "They bonded over a love for you. He respects and loves your work. Rory, on the other hand, respects and loves you Jess. Travis doesn't even know that there is a you to be worried about. He thinks everything is ok, and it's heartbreaking, and he hates coffee... And if you asked her to, she would run away with you tomorrow."

Jess nodded and took a sip from his beer. Chuckling lightly.

"I asked her to run away with me seven years ago...didn't quite work out as planned." Lorelai nodded.

"I know Jess. My best friend is getting married to a man she doesn't love tomorrow. She slept with you last night. Unprotected might I add. I'd have to say she's all in, but not with Travis."

Jess nodded, sipping from his beer again.

"How's Will?" He asked, steering the conversation away from Rory. The woman across from his visibly lit up and began to regale him with tales of the young boy who had made her a calmer person. He smiled, and leaned forward to look at the pictures she showed him. His mind reeling, calculating the way he could convince Rory to run away with him. He would move back to New York for her, would do so in a minute if it meant he could make love to that sweet girl for the rest of his life.

* * *

The day of her wedding dawned with Rory's head on Jess' chest. He was lightly running his fingers through her hair while the smoke from his cigarette curled lazily from his mouth. He'd be a fool and a liar if he didn't admit that he loved the feeling of her naked body pressed up against his own. Her breath was tickling his nipple with each small burst that came from her nose. Her lips were settled into a satisfied smirk. From the bed he could hear the bustle going on around the town square this morning, and if you listened faintly you could hear Luke asking Lorelai which one of them was going to go retrieve Rory from the apartment above the diner.

Rory stirred on his chest, yawning her dainty but filthy mouth, and opening one eye to glance at the clock on the bedside table. With a dissatisfied moan she closed her eyes and burrowed deeper into the bed, deeper into him.

"Rory," Jess began, poking out his Marlboro and sliding down next to her, "it's time." She pouted. Her lips curling downward in a slight frown she sighed.

"I can't Jess," she muttered, sitting up with her back to him. "I should've never come here." She continued, her mind traveling from the seventeen year old she was pretending to be, to the twenty seven year old she was now.

"How could you let me do this, Jess?" The young man chuckled darkly, before getting out of the bed.

"Don't kid yourself Rory, you came to me. I wasn't James Dean in this situation. You asked me to fuck you. And that's what I did. For the last three nights I might add." The young man slammed his fist into the wall nearest the bed. His angry eyes stared out the window, connecting with those of his uncle.

"That's not what I'm talking about, Jess!" She countered back, slipping his Metallica t-shirt back over her breasts. "How could you let me marry him? You're standing there telling me it's time, but after these last three nights, how can you tell me to go to him? Can't you see that I love you?" She had slipped her jeans over her hips, and was tying the laces on her converses.

"You're an adult Rory, you wouldn't marry him if you didn't want to." Jess said, lighting a cigarette and taking a drag. The smoke curled out of his mouth as he scratched his scalp. She looked over at him, his penis hung there proud and unashamed. Rory blushed and turned her back to him.

"Give me one good reason to stay." She whispered to the frosted glass of the door.

"I asked you to run away with me once before, and you made a fool of me. I won't ask you again Rory, that's up to you now."

She sighed, letting her head drop onto the door in front of her. Her grip tightened on the doorknob and twisted it.

"Goodbye, Jess."

"Goodbye, Lorelai."

"Fuck you." She hissed, slamming the door shut behind him.

"You already did." He screamed out the window to her as she hurried across the street to her mother. He shut the window and drew the shades, walking naked to his laptop to continue writing his newest novel.

* * *

He stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom, glaring at his reflection and looking at the tie he fisted in his left hand. His knuckles had gone white due to the tight grip he held around the scrap of silk. He had typed away at his laptop for hours until his uncle had come stomping into the apartment and demanded that he get dressed and show his smug face at the church for the ceremony.

It wasn't five minutes later that he stood outside of the church smoking one last cigarette before watching the love of his life marry the wrong man.

"You could tell her you love her" he heard from behind him.

"Hello, Zach." Jess said, tossing the cigarette butt to the ground and stepping on it.

"She would call off this whole thing if you would just speak up, Jess!"

"I'm sure she would. She knows this isn't right, and I'm not about to offer her an easy out." He shrugged his shoulders while running his hands through his hair, causing it to stick in every direction. "You coming?"

Zach nodded his head, slowly climbing up the steps behind him.

"Are you sure you can watch this?" Zach whispered to him once they slid into the pew at the front of the church.

"No choice, Zach, she made her choice." He said back, nodding his head to Kirk as he slid into the pew beside us.

"Jess, you're here!" Kirk said, scooting down the pew a bit, fear in his eyes.

"Was invited."

"Alright then."

Jess then turned his attention to the man standing at the alter. He was a tallish man, small across the shoulders, and quite dopey looking. He had dark hair and even darker eyes. His face was fixed in a slight smirk, and Jess just wanted to punch his face in.

It was at that moment that the music started, he sat stiffly and watched as Paris floated down the aisle, followed by Lane, and then followed by Lorelei. Will walked down the aisle next and stood beside Travis at the podium. A small girl with wavy brown hair and green eyes, tossed flowers down the aisle before skipping over to Paris and tugging on her dress.

"Yes darling, you did wonderful!" She said as she picked up the small child.

People around Jess stood up and turned to the back of the church to watch Rory float down the aisle on the arm of his uncle.

 _"She will always love you, Jess." The words replayed in the back of his mind from the conversation his uncle had with him a few months ago. Luke had driven all night to the other side of Pennsylvania to track him down, with the intention of talking some sense into him. If that didn't work then Luke had every intention of knocking some sense into him._

His eyes snapped to hers, and he marveled at her beauty. Her dress was made of lace, and it trumpeted from her knees down to the floor into a small train. The bust was a sweetheart neckline showcasing her breasts beautifully. And once she walked past him he could see that the dress was near backless, scalloped lace was constructed in a delicious v shape stopping at the spot where he had kissed her just that morning.

His hands curled into fists around the pew, gripping so tightly he swore he heard the wood cracking under the pressure. Once Rory reached Travis the church sat as one, and he had to release the hold he had on the pew. He was the last to sit down, after a look from Lorelai, one he couldn't decipher. The program he held in his hands was crumpled, and he was shaking his legs as the priest performed the ceremony. Zach began hitting his legs in a final attempt to get him to speak up and stop this, Kirk even joined in after a few moments.

"Stop!" He said, and all heads turned to him. He turned to Kirk first and then to Zach, before he realized he had actually stopped the wedding. He stood.

"Oh fuck" he said aloud "sorry, sorry. Shit, I was just talking to.." He turned and pointed to his male counterparts. He tried to sit down but his spot was taken by the legs of his former friends.

"Rory, I said I wouldn't do this. I said I wouldn't make a fool of myself again. But here I am, standing before you, and God, and your family and friends and your fiancé and his people. And I'm begging you not to do this. We can get in my car and be in New York in four hours, four and a half if we stop and grab your stuff at your mother's house.

"And I know that this is terrible timing, and you're about to say I do for fucks sake, but everyone has been begging me to say something for months. And I can't sit here and let you marry him Rory, not when it's me you really love.

"So...you know the decision is yours." He turned and stepped over Zach to get to the aisle. Buttoning his suit jacket he nodded his head at the people sitting slack jawed in the church before stopping in front of Rory for a moment.

She was staring at him and he nodded his head again.

"Goodbye, Lorelai." He said, turning and walking quickly back down the aisle.

He quickly packed his belongings and tossed them into the trunk of his car. He was cursing himself for actually standing up and making a fool of himself.

"JESS!" He stood frozen with his hand on the handle of his door."Jess wait!" He turned around and there she was, running towards him, veil flying behind her. His eyes flicked behind her to the church to see Lorelai and Luke clasping hands at the doors.

He looked at Rory once again, not moving a single muscle to meet her halfway. He felt her body slam into him, wrapping her arms around his neck and crashing her lips to his.

He lifted her up and spun her around while kissing her soundly.

* * *

Two Years Later

"Jess. Damn it Jess!" She yelled up the stairs her hands on her hips. "She's walking!"

He stood from his computer clicking the save button quickly before running out and watching his daughter take her first steps. He slid his arms around his wife, whom he had been married to for well over a year now.

"Thank you for running away with me, Rory."

"Thank you for finally having the courage to ask me again."

He kneeled down and opened his arms to welcome their daughter into his warm embrace.

"This is exactly what I didn't know I wanted, Lorelai."

He felt her hand swat him upside his head.

"How many times do I have to tell you, it's Rory?"

"Everyday. For the rest of our lives."

 **The End**


End file.
